Can't I Forget
by Ashen of the Mist
Summary: Tristan McLean was never able to bring himself to drink the potion. Aphrodite pays him a visit. Set after TLO. Oneshot.


"Dad…?" Piper asked uncertainly.

Tristan McLean gently pushed the vial back into her hands. "I can't, Piper," he said, shaking his head. "We live in a world of monsters. No potion can change that." Then his gaze turned distant, and he seemed to recede into himself.

When they'd parted at the Oakland airport, it was all Piper could do to offer him a hug and a promise to talk later.

"Later," he'd agreed weakly.

Then she was off with Jason and Leo and trying to ignore the small portion of her heart that was breaking.

* * *

He relived it over and over again. He had tried at first to think only about the time Piper and her friends came to his rescue, but the memories meshed and twisted, always coming back to the ones where he was alone with the monsters. They haunted him night and day.

He was going out of his mind with- with what? Worry? Fear? Anxiety? All of those things and so much more. He wasn't sure.

The monsters had told him plenty, threatening a hundred ways to kill him. And in the wake of that, he'd cowered, powerless to do anything, while his daughter faced off with monsters that ate men like her father for breakfast. _Piper is a real hero, _he thought, _unlike me_.

He was going out of his mind.

* * *

"You've met her?" Tristan asked, his expression unreadable.

"Not in person," Piper clarified, "she spoke to me in a dream." It felt awkward to talk about Aphrodite with her dad – the woman who was the cause of all this drama in the first place. Briefly, she wondered if this was the way her father felt whenever she brought up the topic of _Mom_ in _Any Three Questions_. Maybe it would always be one of his topics now.

It seemed like forever before they got past the _how many times did you see her_, _did she say why she left, has she been watching all this time_ and a dozen of_ I don't knows_.

"She wanted to help you, and she gave you that potion for me," he continued, sounding wistful. "Did she– did she say anything else about me?"

Piper's heart ached for her father. "She got offended when I asked if she told you she was a goddess. Said she wouldn't do that to you."

Piper watched carefully as her father's expression flitted from confusion to recognition to subdued acceptance as he replayed a past conversation. She turned away from his forlorn face. "She didn't want to leave you, Dad." Tristan smiled a little, but he still seemed incredibly sad.

"She wouldn't," he said softly.

"What about you, Piper?" The conversation took a turn. "What do you think about your mother?"

Piper looked up. She had some time to get used to the idea that Aphrodite was her mother now and for the most part she'd accepted it, but it was still difficult to reconcile the flighty love goddess she had met in a dream and the Mom she'd come to envision in her dad's stories.

She decided to leave out the part where she wanted to punch Aphrodite in the face for today. "She's not quite what I had expected."

Tristan chuckled.

* * *

He had not been working since his return. Gleeson Hedge and Mellie have been scrambling with phone calls and emails and dealing with people that don't matter anymore.

_PTSD, _the therapist diagnosed._ Not unexpected after being the victim of a kidnap._ Tristan wondered he could be treated for his experience with the monsters without first getting shoved into an asylum.

He occupied his days – when he's trying not to _think_ – by Googling Greek mythology. He read up on the Titans, the Olympians, the heroes and more, all the while trying to evade the myths that spoke of a particular goddess. (And one time he'd even looked up the giants when he thought he was feeling up to it. He did not try it again.)

But he should have known better than to evade the goddess of love. It barely lasted a week before he had devoured everything the internet knew about Aphrodite. And Hephaestus. And Ares. And Hermes, Dionysus, Adonis, and every other recorded lover she had ever had.

He wondered if he was just another one of them. It was only a matter of time before he pushed aside that strand of thought in frustration, the anger, jealousy and confusion eating at him, as he mulled over all the possible answers.

_Stop it_, he scolded himself, _I need to clear my mind_.

Grunting, he abandoned his computer and tried his best to do nothing for the next hour. And it was when his mind was empty that things came back to him.

_Aphrodite came to Piper in a dream, _his mind whispered.

All of a sudden, the realisation struck him and he flew to the bathroom before he could spew vomit everywhere.

_Can monsters visit people in dreams?_

He did not sleep anymore.

* * *

"Tristan."

He turned abruptly, arm bumping into the coffee maker he had just started. It was a good thing he wasn't holding anything, for the shock of hearing that familiar voice would've surely made him drop it.

Sitting elegantly on his couch was the love of his life, looking every bit as beautiful as the day he first met her. He drank in the sight of her– luscious brown hair curling at its tips, snowy complexion, and eyes that seemed to reflect the light. She was dressed simply in jeans and a cream-coloured top, not a day older than he had remembered. It vaguely occurred to him that he was staring, but she only looked back at him silently, waiting for him to speak.

"Aphrodite," he murmured. She nodded in acknowledgement.

He approached her carefully, as though any sudden movement would cause this fantasy to fade away. "Why are you here?" he asked, voice sounding pathetic even to himself.

"You haven't been sleeping." Her face was lined with worry now, a frown marring her cherry lips. She lifted a hand to touch his cheek as he slid down onto the couch beside her. It took another moment before she sighed. "This isn't living, Tristan. Not like this."

Gently, he placed his hand over hers. It was another reason for him to remember. "I didn't want to forget," he choked, "I _couldn't_."

She dropped her gaze. "I feared this would happen." Taking a long breath, she began, "Tristan, do you blame me?"

He wanted to say yes. She was the reason he was brought into this world of horrors, a hostage for their demigod daughter. Fifteen years ago, he'd loved her so much he was ready to marry her. But then she'd upped-and-left without a word one day, leaving him with nothing but a newborn girl and a broken heart. How could he not blame her? Finding out who she really was only added to the number of injustices she had done against him.

But looking at her now, it seemed so difficult to summon all his pent-up frustration. "I don't know," he replied. "I'm so angry with you I don't even know what to think anymore."

He lowered their hands. "Did you even love me?" he asked brokenly.

Aphrodite stiffened at the implication before looking regretful. "I did. I care for you even now," she whispered.

"I'm not sure if I can believe you anymore," he said as he reached for her other hand, stroking it with his thumb. "You left us."

She shook her head sadly. "Our laws forbid us from showing favoritism to our mortal children. After Piper was born, I couldn't stay with you. I had to go."

"She _needed_ her mother!" he growled, pressing down on her palms. "She was only _days_ old when you left. How could you have the heart to do that your _own_ child?"

"I can't– I couldn't stay, Tristan!" She tried to pull back, but he held her firmly. "I could never raise a mortal child! Not in the way you want me to. It just isn't allowed!" she defended.

"But we needed you!" he cried, hurt and accusation dripping from his words. "We needed you and you _left_."

Her expression crumbled. "I'm sorry." He released her and began to sob openly, mourning for all the years they never had. "I'm sorry," she repeated, before hesitantly drawing him into her arms. Running her fingers through his hair, she gently murmured more apologies in his ear. It took a while before Tristan managed to compose himself.

"The giants shouldn't bother you anymore."

"But my dreams…"

"They would have little interest in you now. And it will be Piper's fight when the time comes. In any case, the satyr is a qualified protector. You do not have to worry about monsters."

"Piper will have to fight them?"

"Likely."

"And will you guide her again?" She gave him a curious look. "Piper told me about your visit."

"She was not supposed to mention that to anyone."

"I'm glad she did. I was relieved to know you were looking out for her."

Aphrodite smiled. "You know, sometimes I think Zeus put that awful law in place because I helped Aeneas too much."

_Aeneas, her first demigod child_, he recalled.

"Aphrodite." He paused, trying to bring himself to say the next words, "are you married?"

"_What_?" she responded, stupefied. Of all the… _This_ was why she did not meet up with ex-lovers who did not know she was a goddess. Her mind scrambled for an appropriate answer, but there weren't many options. "Ye–es," she squeezed out finally, "but it's not what you think. I never wanted to marry my husband."

"What about the others like Ares?"

If it was possible to look distressed and pretty at the same time, then Aphrodite did a marvellous job at it. Her nose scrunched up in mild horror and her face paled. "It's not that simple," she insisted, avoiding the question entirely.

"Did you love them too?"

"Tristan, _please_," she begged him. "It really isn't that simple."

"Alright," he conceded. He didn't think he wanted to know the answer to that anyway.

Aphrodite was thankful for the respite. "To answer your earlier question, the one who can provide our daughter guidance isn't me. You've been her primary caregiver all this time. It's _you_ she needs. And this," she gestured mildly to all of him, "is not what will help her when she needs her father most."

Tristan was ashamed. He had been a wreck since Piper left after her short stay. He couldn't help it. It wasn't easy trying to go back to normal after being kidnapped by a bunch of monsters that wanted to kill you or use you as blackmail. But then again, he didn't actually have any intention to face this new truth like his daughter did.

Knowing all the gods actually existed made everything he had built his life on worthless. Was there any point at all going back to his former lifestyle when any one of them could snap their fingers and change some part of civilisation? He didn't think so, but of course… there was still Piper. Would she continue to take off on quests and battle monsters? Caught between this world and the other, he wondered if he'd ever understand the other life his daughter would lead.

_It doesn't matter_, he decided. _If she ever gets tired of that world someday, she would always have a home to return to_.

"I'll try," he promised.

"Thank you, Tristan." Aphrodite smiled as she stood up to leave.

He reached for her hand hurriedly. "Will I see you again?"

She laughed now. "When Piper gets married," she declared, grinning playfully, "I'll be at the wedding."

"I'll see you then." With that, he lifted and pressed a kiss to her back of her hand.

* * *

A/N: I'd wanted to post this under _Romance_, but apparently, my friend insisted that withering love does not fall into that category.


End file.
